Our first Christmas married I want you all to know that you are loved and appreciated. Im not sure whether he isn't ready for it to get any more serious than it is or that he cannot juggle my needs and his duties. I believe in temple marriage, and in the importance of those covenants. Your relationship with your family will be healed, and so will you.
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However, you might be lucky to not have the experience I did. They took an oath and it is who they are. Also, love how you describe how God has our backs and we can actually act on the notion of things hoped for that are not seen instead of the quaint pseudo idea that all things are known in advance, step by step, and lead to mortal and eternal bliss. But she understands that I am committed to the Gospel, and will never leave it either.
She found the perfect Mormon guy, they were married in the temple. Who hit on them or the other way round. Some of the guests talked about the importance of helping hard core mormons to be open and accepting to ALL their brothers and sisters in the church, regardless of sexual orientation. Sure it's lonely and hard work being a "single parent". I hope that you have left him at this point, and that you are happy. Let's talk about kids. You should certainly still date even if you are not looking for a marriage partner. No nagging, no emotional neediness, etc. She is passionate about it. How church discipline works.
Fortunately most of my immediate family has done better. After 15 years of marriage, I'm so used to living a separate life with our 3 kids. Additionally, just as corporate cultures exist, so does it exist for every family. Unless you convert she won't marry you, plain and simple. If she doesn't care that you aren't a member now, if your relationship goes on long enough, she is going to care eventually. I just happened upon your blog I'm a doctor's wife as well - rural family medicine and I just wanted to agree with you that "have no expectations" is awesome advice.